Happy 2018!

Enjoy a happy and safe 2018!
For me, 2017 brought big changes. Moving forward has been good. In the coming year, at Three Rivers Defense, we’ll focus again on wellness, healing, and violence prevention.
Self-defense and violence prevention are serious subjects. Harassment is obnoxious. Sexual and other assaults can be terrifying and traumatizing. But self-defense training doesn’t have to be scary or tedious.
People learn and retain information more easily and effectively when they are relaxed and have fun. That’s why we strive to have fun when we are training.
Real self-defense is also much more than just punching, kicking, or other physical techniques. It goes way beyond that. Self-defense starts with self-awareness: checking in with ourselves. It includes noticing our emotions and the sensations in our bodies. It includes paying attention to how we feel about someone or a place or a situation. Self-awareness is the basis of any situational awareness and any effective self-protection.
Self-defense also includes exploring what or who makes us happy and what or who bring us down.
For me, self-defense on an every-day basis includes making time for fun, eating well, and drinking water (not my favorite). For example over the last few days, I spent time laughing with my daughters over old photos and skiing powder at Bridger Bowl.
I hope you have time for some self-care, whatever that means for you in the coming year. Happy 2018!


Behavioral medicine, neuroscience, and evolution all support mindfulness as an essential foundation for effective self-protection. Risk awareness and violence avoidance, as well as effective defense and counter-attacks, are all grounded in mindfulness.

What is mindfulness? The essence of mindfulness is to be fully present in the here and now – to perceive the present reality without bias, preconception, judgment, or projection. Simple, right?

It isn’t simple for me. Even though I teach mindfulness in my self-defense classes, I’m easily distracted. I’m often preoccupied with thoughts about the past or the future. Rather than paying attention to what I smell, hear, see, taste, or feel, I catch myself thinking about and judging what I perceive, and often my thoughts wonder. I have to make continuous conscious efforts to be fully present with the people I interact with.

SHong Kong pedestrians mart phones and computers provide constant connection and information and also constant distraction. I know I am easily distracted by my cellphone, alerting me to new messages, emails, or breaking news. At times, my eyes are glued to my Smartphone and the Internet engrosses me to the point that I forget to pay adequate attention to my surroundings.

An extreme example of oblivion involves a shooting on a municipal train in San Francisco. All of the passengers appeared to be focused on their cell phones and tablets. None of them noticed a man with a gun until he shot a university student, Justin Valdez. The passengers apparently didn’t pay any attention to the gunman even though he repeatedly drew a .45-caliber pistol, pointed it across the aisle, and then tucked it in his side again, before he eventually shot Valdez in the back. The shooter even lifted his hand with the gun to wipe his nose, and no one noticed him. Describing Closed Circuit TV footage, District Attorney George Gascón said, “These weren’t concealed movements — the gun is very clear.” The passengers were in very close proximity with the gunman, and nobody saw his movements or the gun.[1]

Did dozens of train passengers fail to notice a gun because they were hyper-focused on their digital screens? Maybe that’s too simple an explanation. Crowd dynamics and other human factors may also have played a role. But the constant demands of phones, computers, and media on our attention and perception make it difficult for many of us to remain mindful – self-aware and aware our environment.

Cell phone cameras

Cell phone cameras

Constant immersion in digital worlds may not only affect our abilities to notice people around us; it may also erode our skills to perceive emotions even when we do “see” a person who poses a potential threat. Lack of face-to-face interaction may decrease our innate threat-detection abilities. Without enough practice, our competence to sense and interpret gestures or facial expressions, especially split-second-long micro-expressions, may deteriorate, and we many not note fleeting signs of anger, disgust, or contempt, even when we “see” another person. For instance, a brief sneer, signifying contempt, may alert you that a new acquaintance doesn’t respect you. Without sufficient practice in mindful face-to-face interaction, you may miss the sneer and other expressions or gestures. You may also miss subtle changes in pitch, inflection, tone, or volume of someone’s voice.[2] Maybe you have progressed farther than I have in being mindful, but if you are as easily distracted as I still am, you may also benefit from mindfulness training.

Awareness and mindfulness can be trained. Even as you sit at your office desk, you can start with simple exercises like listening to sounds such as the humming of traffic outside. While grocery shopping, you can practice observation by consciously noting the hands and facial expressions of people around you. Sitting in a commuter train, you can experience sensations of touch, for example your forearm resting on a plastic armrest. You can also practice interoception, perceiving your body’s sensations, such as tenseness in your jaw muscles or queasiness in your stomach.

Chocolate – Practicing noting sensations and feelings

A favorite awareness and mindfulness exercise of my course participants is engaging all five senses while tasting chocolate.

Chocolate meditation

Chocolate meditation

Listen to the sound of the tin foil as you unwrap the chocolate bar. Hear the sound of breaking off a piece. See the piece of chocolate and note its shape, color, and texture. Smell the fragrance of the cocoa. Put the piece of chocolate into your mouth and feel its smoothness on your tongue. Sense the change in its texture as the chocolate piece melts in your mouth. Taste the flavor and intensity of the cocoa.

Now tune into yourself. How do you feel? Content? Happy? Satisfied? Disappointed? Frustrated? Sad? Anxious?

If you don’t eat chocolate, you can do this exercise with any other food, like a blueberry, a raisin, a piece of cheese, or with a sip of water, coffee, tea, or wine.

Benefits of Meditation

Blackberry Strawberry MeditationMindfulness practice has several major benefits for self-protection. Here are a few:

  1. Increased ability to sense how another person makes you feel. Meditators have better abilities to determine whether other people present threats to them. Their interoception is more acute.
  2. Increased ability to detect new stimuli in the environment. For example, a person who regularly meditates might have noticed the gun in the San Francisco commuter train.
  3. Increased ability to focus.
  4. Better ability to regulate emotions and to use cognitive thinking under stress.
  5. Better ability to relax and recuperate from stress.


[1] Source: SFGate.com

[2] You don’t even have to actually be around another person to practice. Programs on sites like humintell.com or paulekman.com allow you to practice and train your ability to read facial expressions online without face-to-face interaction.

Dillon 2017 Women’s Symposium

2017 Women’s Symposium in Dillon – Self-Defense Workshop

I’m looking forward to the second annual Dillon Women’s Symposium presented by the Women’s Resource Center. 

Where: LDS Church in Dillon

When:  September 23, 2017 (The Symposium starts at 8:00am)

I will facilitate two workshops, one from  9:30am – 10:15am; the next one from 10:30am- 11:15am.

What: The workshops will focus on releasing yourself from being grabbed, held, or otherwise restrained.

The greatest danger to women is not strangers in dark alleys but people we know. Betraying trust, these aggressors often manipulate and control their intended targets mentally and emotionally. Self-defense against such tactics ideally begins on mental and emotional levels. But sometimes we need physical skills. When attackers use physical force, their assaults often start with grabs and holds. In my Dillon workshops you will learn reality-based, practical skills to release yourself from such grabs and holds, and if necessary, to counter-attack so that you can escape to safety. If time allows, we’ll also address defenses against strangulation attempts.

Who: Anyone attending the Dillon Women’s Symposium

Cost: The fee for the entire symposium is $20 per person or $30 for two friends

Symposium Schedule of Events:

8:00 Registration begins

8:30 Group Mindfulness Exercise

8:45 Healthy Breakfast w/ Speaker

9:30 Breakout Session #1 (Self-Defense as well as other sessions)

10:15 Break

10:30 Breakout Session #2 (Self-Defense as well as other sessions)

11:15 Break

11:30 Breakout Session #3

12:15 Break

12:30 Lunch w/ Speaker

1:45 Raffle & Wrap-up

2:00 Close of Event

Boundary Testing and Criminal Interviews

3 rivers defense

Boundary Setting

Predators need proximity to attack their victims. They generally gain proximity through two basic methods: surprise and ambush or charm. Using their charm and manipulation, predators often test and then violate boundaries.

By definition, every criminal attack is a boundary violation. Sexual assault, stalking, rape, intimidation, and other attacks are all boundary violations. We have physical boundaries. We also have mental and emotional comfort zones.

Not every boundary violation is a crime, but criminal attacks often start with gradually increasing boundary violations. Aggressors often test potential victims to find out whether and how they set, enforce, and protect their boundaries and where they are vulnerable.

In addition to, or combined with, boundary testing criminals often employ manipulation and control techniques based on the target’s personality traits such as kindness, credulity, eagerness to please, or cravings for acceptance. When criminals test a potential victim’s boundaries verbally, we sometimes call this process criminal interviewing. This is one interview that you want to fail.

Self-defense begins with risk awareness, reduction, recognition, and avoidance. Effective risk management includes setting, protecting, and enforcing your boundaries.

Boundary setting isn’t only important for violence prevention against criminal predators. Self-care in every day life also includes setting and enforcing healthy boundaries at home, at work, with friends, and with acquaintances throughout your day.

My next post will make some suggestions for recognizing boundary violations that may begin with subtle encroachments, at times disguised as flattery and admiration.

“Battles are won or lost before they are fought.” Sun Tzu

Battles are lost or won by preparation. This is as true for sports like dragon boat racing, a sport I enjoy and compete in, as it is for self-defense. We can increase our chances by daily training on a mental and physical level and by making daily choices that further our goals, whether the goal is winning a competition or staying safe.

Here are three attributes of effective preparation:

  • Develop a positive mental attitude and enjoy mental training.
  • Hone your physical skill sets through realistic, hard physical training.
  • Adopt a daily routine of making conscious choices.

Mental training is key for self-defense. As in sport competitions, mental preparation is key for success in self-protection. Self-defense should start long before any physical action. Personal safety management, de-escalation, risk awareness, risk reduction, and risk avoidance are a huge part of self-defense. This is especially true for anyone who doesn’t boast 250 pounds of lean muscle and solid fighting skills honed in long-term training.

Mental training starts with developing and nurturing a positive attitude towards yourself and your abilities. It helps to like and to value yourself in order to want to protect yourself. As in sports competitions, in self-defense it helps to believe in yourself. Of course, such beliefs should be based on competence and training. Delusion and self-deception about one’s abilities can be dangerous.

My mental self-defense training includes reminding myself regularly to be aware of myself and of my environment. I ask myself periodically, “How do I feel? What do I sense? Where am I? What am I doing? What should I pay attention to right now?” This type of metal training has probably increased my safety more than my time in the gym. For instance, it has kept me safe numerous times when I was driving and when my thoughts drifted off to things other than the traffic and the road conditions around me.

Avoidance is Best. Avoiding violence is more effective self-protection than any other self-defense. It protects you not only from physical and emotional injuries and doctor and therapy bills, but also from potential civil lawsuits and the inevitable legal fees, even if you were totally justified and were never prosecuted criminally. While you may consider legal prosecution for excessive force a remote risk, especially if you are a woman, you still need to consider it as a potential risk of any physical counter-attack.

Physical training needs to be realistic. Physical attacks happen when avoidance has failed. Physical attacks are often brutal, fast, and continuous. Vicious close-up violence does damage. It hurts, and without proper preparation, and sometimes even with it, it can debilitate you before you have any chance to counter it. A physical attack is nothing like a sparring match in a boxing ring or a martial arts octagon . It’s not a fight between two matched competitors. Any person who is being attacked, especially people who are smaller and have less mass than their attacker, need to counter-attack immediately, ferociously, and on proper targets. If you have to fight for your life, you may have a better chance if you fight “dirty.” Targets and techniques that are illegal in sports are often essential when you need to counter-attack. Training for self-defense needs to be based on the realities of criminal attacks, not the niceties of sports competitions.

It helps to be able to see valuable targets like eyes, throat, groin, knees, or ankles. You’ll want to train how to use your natural weapons effectively and how to inflict incapacitating damage to these targets. You should also practice using improvised weapons. A rock or an iron bar can do more damage than your hammer-fist alone.

When your attacker outweighs you by 100 pounds, you may benefit from deception, distraction, and disruption. You’ll  want to know how to shut down or at least seriously impair, systems like sight,  how to break a knee joint or damage a wrist or ankle. But “knowing” isn’t enough; you’ll need to be able to dish out violence without hesitation and with full commitment. Not everyone is able to switch instantly from their civilized mindset to an a-social attacker mode necessary to shut down a threat. Think about what it would take for you to make that switch. And thinking about it isn’t enough. At the very least, you may want to do some training on a body opponent bag.

Physical training needs to be realistic. Training from positions of disadvantage and a focus on good body mechanics and on ending any attack as quickly as possible are important elements of such training.

Make deliberate choices regarding your safety. The choices we make every day increase or decrease our risks and our chances of remaining safe, not just from criminal attackers. Sometimes we make conscious choices to take risks, for example when we go white water rafting at extreme water levels, or when we travel or work in geographic areas with a high risk of terrorism, crime, or other violence.

Sometimes, people take other risks, like remaining with a violent partner. For some people, these decisions aren’t real choices due to economic, social, familial, legal, or other factors.

But the more we can choose deliberately, the more we can consciously weigh the risks and benefits of our choices, the more effectively we can manage our safety risks.

It’s important to have fun, and sometimes that means making a conscious choice to “live dangerously.” But at the very least, make these choices fully aware of what you are risking and gaining.


Flip at Triple Hole

Flip at Triple Hole

Happy 4th of July – Free class on July 12

3 rivers defense

Have a happy and safe 4th of July!

Next week, we’ll have a free return-and-practice self-defense session.

The training will take place at our studio at 612 W Griffin in Bozeman on Wednesday, July 12th from 7:00pm –8:30pm. Everyone who has trained with us in the past is invited. You are also welcome to bring a friend.

Come and join us, refresh your skills, and connect with former training partners. To sign up, please email Brigitte at 3riverstkd@gmail.com by Monday, July 10th.

Three Rivers Defense will be back in Montana in July

After a month in Germany and then a brief dragon boat race excursion to Canada, Brigitte will be back in Montana in July.

Three Rivers Defense self-defense training in Montana will resume in July.

We’ll also have a free return-and-practice self-defense session on the second Wednesday  in July (7-12-2017)  from 7:00 until 8:30pm. Everyone who has trained with us in the past is invited. You are also welcome to bring a friend.

Come and join us, refresh your skills, and connect with former training partners. To sign up, email Brigitte at 3riverstkd@gmail.com.


March Dragon Boat Erg Training

Hi Dragon boaters,

During the rest of March, you are welcome to use the Erg at the gym whenever it’s convenient for you. Please call Brigitte or Andy to make sure one of us is at the gym.

Dragon Boat season is right around the corner!  See you soon on the EGRA or at Hyalite!


International Women’s Day

March 8 is International Women’s Day.

We celebrate this day with a free return-and-practice session for any of our women trainees.

Call us to schedule your free return-and-practice session for you or your group during the month of March.



January 30, 2017 Self-Defense Training

We are looking forward to training with Erin, April, and their friends on Monday, January 30th, 2017.

Here are some answers to frequently asked questions:

Where is the Three Rivers Defense studio at?  We are located at 612 W Griffin, Unit C, in Bozeman. We are in the new Great Northern Commercial Condos. Our is the condo closest to Griffin when you turn into the parking lot. You’ll see a large Outa Ware sign, and a smaller one in the door for Three Rivers Defense. See the photo of the studio below.

When should I arrive? If you haven’t returned your registration papers, or need to change into workout clothes, please arrive between 5:30 and 5:45pm so that we can get all of the paperwork out of the way and start training at 6pm.

What should I bring? Bring a water-bottle and clean gym shoes, or go barefoot. We train on a mat-covered floor. Bring wraps if you have some. We have Mexican wraps at the gym.

What should I wear? Wear comfortable clothes. You can wear workout clothes but you don’t have to. You may be most comfortable in workout clothes. But we’ll do self-defense training, and for self-defense you generally can’t choose what clothes you are wearing. So any clothing is fine.

For another questions, feel free to call Brigitte at 406.580.5190.

See  you Monday evening!

Three Rivers Defense at 612 W Griffin