MINDFULNESS – BASED TRAINING

Behavioral medicine, neuroscience, and evolution all support mindfulness as an essential foundation for effective self-protection. Risk awareness and violence avoidance, as well as effective defense and counter-attacks, are all grounded in mindfulness.

What is mindfulness? The essence of mindfulness is to be fully present in the here and now – to perceive the present reality without bias, preconception, judgment, or projection. Simple, right?

It isn’t simple for me. Even though I teach mindfulness in my self-defense classes, I’m easily distracted. I’m often preoccupied with thoughts about the past or the future. Rather than paying attention to what I smell, hear, see, taste, or feel, I catch myself thinking about and judging what I perceive, and often my thoughts wonder. I have to make continuous conscious efforts to be fully present with the people I interact with.

SHong Kong pedestrians mart phones and computers provide constant connection and information and also constant distraction. I know I am easily distracted by my cellphone, alerting me to new messages, emails, or breaking news. At times, my eyes are glued to my Smartphone and the Internet engrosses me to the point that I forget to pay adequate attention to my surroundings.

An extreme example of oblivion involves a shooting on a municipal train in San Francisco. All of the passengers appeared to be focused on their cell phones and tablets. None of them noticed a man with a gun until he shot a university student, Justin Valdez. The passengers apparently didn’t pay any attention to the gunman even though he repeatedly drew a .45-caliber pistol, pointed it across the aisle, and then tucked it in his side again, before he eventually shot Valdez in the back. The shooter even lifted his hand with the gun to wipe his nose, and no one noticed him. Describing Closed Circuit TV footage, District Attorney George Gascón said, “These weren’t concealed movements — the gun is very clear.” The passengers were in very close proximity with the gunman, and nobody saw his movements or the gun.[1]

Did dozens of train passengers fail to notice a gun because they were hyper-focused on their digital screens? Maybe that’s too simple an explanation. Crowd dynamics and other human factors may also have played a role. But the constant demands of phones, computers, and media on our attention and perception make it difficult for many of us to remain mindful – self-aware and aware our environment.

Cell phone cameras

Cell phone cameras

Constant immersion in digital worlds may not only affect our abilities to notice people around us; it may also erode our skills to perceive emotions even when we do “see” a person who poses a potential threat. Lack of face-to-face interaction may decrease our innate threat-detection abilities. Without enough practice, our competence to sense and interpret gestures or facial expressions, especially split-second-long micro-expressions, may deteriorate, and we many not note fleeting signs of anger, disgust, or contempt, even when we “see” another person. For instance, a brief sneer, signifying contempt, may alert you that a new acquaintance doesn’t respect you. Without sufficient practice in mindful face-to-face interaction, you may miss the sneer and other expressions or gestures. You may also miss subtle changes in pitch, inflection, tone, or volume of someone’s voice.[2] Maybe you have progressed farther than I have in being mindful, but if you are as easily distracted as I still am, you may also benefit from mindfulness training.

Awareness and mindfulness can be trained. Even as you sit at your office desk, you can start with simple exercises like listening to sounds such as the humming of traffic outside. While grocery shopping, you can practice observation by consciously noting the hands and facial expressions of people around you. Sitting in a commuter train, you can experience sensations of touch, for example your forearm resting on a plastic armrest. You can also practice interoception, perceiving your body’s sensations, such as tenseness in your jaw muscles or queasiness in your stomach.

Chocolate – Practicing noting sensations and feelings

A favorite awareness and mindfulness exercise of my course participants is engaging all five senses while tasting chocolate.

Chocolate meditation

Chocolate meditation

Listen to the sound of the tin foil as you unwrap the chocolate bar. Hear the sound of breaking off a piece. See the piece of chocolate and note its shape, color, and texture. Smell the fragrance of the cocoa. Put the piece of chocolate into your mouth and feel its smoothness on your tongue. Sense the change in its texture as the chocolate piece melts in your mouth. Taste the flavor and intensity of the cocoa.

Now tune into yourself. How do you feel? Content? Happy? Satisfied? Disappointed? Frustrated? Sad? Anxious?

If you don’t eat chocolate, you can do this exercise with any other food, like a blueberry, a raisin, a piece of cheese, or with a sip of water, coffee, tea, or wine.

Benefits of Meditation

Blackberry Strawberry MeditationMindfulness practice has several major benefits for self-protection. Here are a few:

  1. Increased ability to sense how another person makes you feel. Meditators have better abilities to determine whether other people present threats to them. Their interoception is more acute.
  2. Increased ability to detect new stimuli in the environment. For example, a person who regularly meditates might have noticed the gun in the San Francisco commuter train.
  3. Increased ability to focus.
  4. Better ability to regulate emotions and to use cognitive thinking under stress.
  5. Better ability to relax and recuperate from stress.

 

[1] Source: SFGate.com

[2] You don’t even have to actually be around another person to practice. Programs on sites like humintell.com or paulekman.com allow you to practice and train your ability to read facial expressions online without face-to-face interaction.


Boundary Testing and Criminal Interviews

3 rivers defense

Boundary Setting

Predators need proximity to attack their victims. They generally gain proximity through two basic methods: surprise and ambush or charm. Using their charm and manipulation, predators often test and then violate boundaries.

By definition, every criminal attack is a boundary violation. Sexual assault, stalking, rape, intimidation, and other attacks are all boundary violations. We have physical boundaries. We also have mental and emotional comfort zones.

Not every boundary violation is a crime, but criminal attacks often start with gradually increasing boundary violations. Aggressors often test potential victims to find out whether and how they set, enforce, and protect their boundaries and where they are vulnerable.

In addition to, or combined with, boundary testing criminals often employ manipulation and control techniques based on the target’s personality traits such as kindness, credulity, eagerness to please, or cravings for acceptance. When criminals test a potential victim’s boundaries verbally, we sometimes call this process criminal interviewing. This is one interview that you want to fail.

Self-defense begins with risk awareness, reduction, recognition, and avoidance. Effective risk management includes setting, protecting, and enforcing your boundaries.

Boundary setting isn’t only important for violence prevention against criminal predators. Self-care in every day life also includes setting and enforcing healthy boundaries at home, at work, with friends, and with acquaintances throughout your day.

My next post will make some suggestions for recognizing boundary violations that may begin with subtle encroachments, at times disguised as flattery and admiration.


“Battles are won or lost before they are fought.” Sun Tzu

Battles are lost or won by preparation. This is as true for sports like dragon boat racing, a sport I enjoy and compete in, as it is for self-defense. We can increase our chances by daily training on a mental and physical level and by making daily choices that further our goals, whether the goal is winning a competition or staying safe.

Here are three attributes of effective preparation:

  • Develop a positive mental attitude and enjoy mental training.
  • Hone your physical skill sets through realistic, hard physical training.
  • Adopt a daily routine of making conscious choices.

Mental training is key for self-defense. As in sport competitions, mental preparation is key for success in self-protection. Self-defense should start long before any physical action. Personal safety management, de-escalation, risk awareness, risk reduction, and risk avoidance are a huge part of self-defense. This is especially true for anyone who doesn’t boast 250 pounds of lean muscle and solid fighting skills honed in long-term training.

Mental training starts with developing and nurturing a positive attitude towards yourself and your abilities. It helps to like and to value yourself in order to want to protect yourself. As in sports competitions, in self-defense it helps to believe in yourself. Of course, such beliefs should be based on competence and training. Delusion and self-deception about one’s abilities can be dangerous.

My mental self-defense training includes reminding myself regularly to be aware of myself and of my environment. I ask myself periodically, “How do I feel? What do I sense? Where am I? What am I doing? What should I pay attention to right now?” This type of metal training has probably increased my safety more than my time in the gym. For instance, it has kept me safe numerous times when I was driving and when my thoughts drifted off to things other than the traffic and the road conditions around me.

Avoidance is Best. Avoiding violence is more effective self-protection than any other self-defense. It protects you not only from physical and emotional injuries and doctor and therapy bills, but also from potential civil lawsuits and the inevitable legal fees, even if you were totally justified and were never prosecuted criminally. While you may consider legal prosecution for excessive force a remote risk, especially if you are a woman, you still need to consider it as a potential risk of any physical counter-attack.

Physical training needs to be realistic. Physical attacks happen when avoidance has failed. Physical attacks are often brutal, fast, and continuous. Vicious close-up violence does damage. It hurts, and without proper preparation, and sometimes even with it, it can debilitate you before you have any chance to counter it. A physical attack is nothing like a sparring match in a boxing ring or a martial arts octagon . It’s not a fight between two matched competitors. Any person who is being attacked, especially people who are smaller and have less mass than their attacker, need to counter-attack immediately, ferociously, and on proper targets. If you have to fight for your life, you may have a better chance if you fight “dirty.” Targets and techniques that are illegal in sports are often essential when you need to counter-attack. Training for self-defense needs to be based on the realities of criminal attacks, not the niceties of sports competitions.

It helps to be able to see valuable targets like eyes, throat, groin, knees, or ankles. You’ll want to train how to use your natural weapons effectively and how to inflict incapacitating damage to these targets. You should also practice using improvised weapons. A rock or an iron bar can do more damage than your hammer-fist alone.

When your attacker outweighs you by 100 pounds, you may benefit from deception, distraction, and disruption. You’ll  want to know how to shut down or at least seriously impair, systems like sight,  how to break a knee joint or damage a wrist or ankle. But “knowing” isn’t enough; you’ll need to be able to dish out violence without hesitation and with full commitment. Not everyone is able to switch instantly from their civilized mindset to an a-social attacker mode necessary to shut down a threat. Think about what it would take for you to make that switch. And thinking about it isn’t enough. At the very least, you may want to do some training on a body opponent bag.

Physical training needs to be realistic. Training from positions of disadvantage and a focus on good body mechanics and on ending any attack as quickly as possible are important elements of such training.

Make deliberate choices regarding your safety. The choices we make every day increase or decrease our risks and our chances of remaining safe, not just from criminal attackers. Sometimes we make conscious choices to take risks, for example when we go white water rafting at extreme water levels, or when we travel or work in geographic areas with a high risk of terrorism, crime, or other violence.

Sometimes, people take other risks, like remaining with a violent partner. For some people, these decisions aren’t real choices due to economic, social, familial, legal, or other factors.

But the more we can choose deliberately, the more we can consciously weigh the risks and benefits of our choices, the more effectively we can manage our safety risks.

It’s important to have fun, and sometimes that means making a conscious choice to “live dangerously.” But at the very least, make these choices fully aware of what you are risking and gaining.

Dragons

Flip at Triple Hole

Flip at Triple Hole


Three Rivers Defense will be back in Montana in July

After a month in Germany and then a brief dragon boat race excursion to Canada, Brigitte will be back in Montana in July.

Three Rivers Defense self-defense training in Montana will resume in July.

We’ll also have a free return-and-practice self-defense session on the second Wednesday  in July (7-12-2017)  from 7:00 until 8:30pm. Everyone who has trained with us in the past is invited. You are also welcome to bring a friend.

Come and join us, refresh your skills, and connect with former training partners. To sign up, email Brigitte at 3riverstkd@gmail.com.

 


International Women’s Day

March 8 is International Women’s Day.

We celebrate this day with a free return-and-practice session for any of our women trainees.

Call us to schedule your free return-and-practice session for you or your group during the month of March.

 

 


January 30, 2017 Self-Defense Training

We are looking forward to training with Erin, April, and their friends on Monday, January 30th, 2017.

Here are some answers to frequently asked questions:

Where is the Three Rivers Defense studio at?  We are located at 612 W Griffin, Unit C, in Bozeman. We are in the new Great Northern Commercial Condos. Our is the condo closest to Griffin when you turn into the parking lot. You’ll see a large Outa Ware sign, and a smaller one in the door for Three Rivers Defense. See the photo of the studio below.

When should I arrive? If you haven’t returned your registration papers, or need to change into workout clothes, please arrive between 5:30 and 5:45pm so that we can get all of the paperwork out of the way and start training at 6pm.

What should I bring? Bring a water-bottle and clean gym shoes, or go barefoot. We train on a mat-covered floor. Bring wraps if you have some. We have Mexican wraps at the gym.

What should I wear? Wear comfortable clothes. You can wear workout clothes but you don’t have to. You may be most comfortable in workout clothes. But we’ll do self-defense training, and for self-defense you generally can’t choose what clothes you are wearing. So any clothing is fine.

For another questions, feel free to call Brigitte at 406.580.5190.

See  you Monday evening!

Three Rivers Defense at 612 W Griffin


Self-defense at 2017 Montana Farmers Women’s Conference

3 rivers defense

The Montana Farmers Union Women’s Conference will take place on February 10 -12, 2017 at Chico Hot Springs Resort & Day Spa

Brigitte Schulze and Three Rivers Defense will do a self-defense workshop on how to free yourself from grabs and holds.

Attacks against women often start with attempts to restrain them – holding, grabbing, or pulling them. We’ll learn how to break free quickly, and how to counter- attack as necessary to escape to safety.

We are looking forward to training with the women of the Montana Farmers Union and everyone else who joins us for some training, soaking at Chico, and inspiration for cultivating our potential. The conference is open to anyone.

Join us! Everyone is welcome!


DENIAL – THE REALITIES OF VIOLENCE

Denial of violence is a powerful psychological defense mechanism, easing anxiety and lulling people into believing they live safe, idyllic lives. They don’t want to think about the possibility of violence. Negating the possibility of violence makes them feel more secure and comfortable. They often proclaim to be strictly non-violent, abhorring violence as universally bad. They like to say that violence never solved any problem. But denial comes at a price because it dulls our awareness and our risk management abilities.

Denial also works in other ways when people deny what real violence is.

Some people confuse self-defense with martial arts or training drills in the safety of their gym or dojo. Self-defense against a criminal attack is nothing like sparring in the dojo. Even boxing matches and mixed martial arts, Muay Thai, and other sanctioned fights have strict rules, aimed at preventing severe injuries and civil and criminal liability. For example, there are illegal targets, like the eyes; illegal weapons, like eye gouges; and illegal weapon/target combinations, like stomping a fallen opponent on the ground. Fighters are matched up by experience, weight, and gender. They begin and end fighting with the bell. Referees make sure that the fighters spar according to the rules, and time limits determine the length of each round. Ambulances stand by in case anything goes wrong. Contenders consent to mutual fights at agreed upon times, dates, and locations. They study their opponent and train for the fight to be in the best possible shape on fight night.

Predatory criminal attackers on the other hand generally choose their victims based on the victims’ perceived vulnerability, surprise, and lack of preparation. Attackers rely on their own superior strength, size, and power. They choose the time and the location of the attack, preferably isolated places with easy access and escape for the attacker, and no witnesses. The environment may be a dirty hallway or a bathroom stall, not a comfortable training gym with clean, padded floors and water-filled ergonomic heavy bags. Instead, the ground may be asphalt or cement, littered with broken glass. The attacker may reek of sweat or alcohol, and have oozing blisters.

In an ambush, you may be hit first. You may be injured, in pain, and blinded by blood or tears, while trying to recover and defend and counter-attack. Real attacks cause stress reactions, like freezing, tunnel vision, and auditory exclusion. You may experience decreased pain, increased strength and speed, but also loss of fine motor control, and of the ability to think, plan, and act strategically.

The more you deny the realities of violence, the greater the costs you will pay in a real ambush by a predator. In situations where you have a chance to think and choose a course of action, for example in imminent partner assaults, you also need to weigh potential legal consequences of exceeding force justified under the circumstances. This is especially true in altercations that are more appropriately termed fights rather than attacks, such as bar quarrels. When you have a chance to de-escalate or walk away, any violence you use may ultimately be considered assault, or aggravated assault or even attempted homicide if you for example cause internal injury.

Think about denial and be honest with yourself. Do you have the attitude that you live in a safe community and that your chances of encountering violence are slim to non-existent? Do you have a realistic appreciation of your risk profile and of your ability to de-escalate or defend against and neutralize threats? Do you fantasize about counter-attacking physically, putting your attacker in the hospital with hardly a scratch to yourself, and being welcomed by the community as a local hero? Do you have illusions about your ability to flip the switch from civilized person who usually relies on persuasion, negotiation, or appeasement to asocial fighter ready to seriously injure or kill another human being?

Being mindful requires you to be as realistic about your risks and as honest about yourself, your capabilities, and your attitudes, including your hang-ups and your fantasies, as possible. Watch some videos of attacks from Closed Circuit TV cameras to see how fast and brutal some attacks are.[1] Talk with some emergency room nurses or doctors to learn more about the type of injuries they encounter. Violence can be bloody, painful, debilitating, and expensive. You may need to pay bills for doctors, hospitals, physical and other therapy, as well as potentially staggering legal bills if you are charged or sued in a civil law suit. You may lose income. In addition, you may suffer emotionally and mentally as a result of having been attacked or having injured or killed someone in self-defense. For all of theses reasons, the best defense is avoidance whenever that is a safe option.

Sometimes, unfortunately, avoidance is no longer a safe option.

When you need to fight back to save your life, it helps to have basic skills in using the tools of violence for your protection.

[1] See for example, nothingtoxic.com


Self-awareness and Hardening Yourself as a Target

Physical, mental, and emotional self-awareness are crucial components of self-defense. Many predators are very adept at assessing people’s vulnerabilities and needs. Hardening yourself as a target starts with an honest, objective self-assessment.

Your personality

Personality can be described as habitual characteristics of behavior, temperament, and emotions. Think about what you project about yourself to others. How do others generally perceive you? Do you come across as assertive? Shy? Demure? Compliant? Quiet? Cooperative? Trusting? Suspicious? Domineering? Strong-willed? Weak? Insecure? What personality traits make you a soft or a hard target? Are you easily flattered, impressed, or otherwise influenced by other people? Which type of people or under what circumstances?

Your current mood and constitution

Predators are also generally attuned to their targets’ vulnerabilities due to their current moods and physical constitutions. When you are lonely or sad, for example after a recent loss or break-up, you may be more susceptible to someone’s charm, manipulation, or faked solicitude than when you are physically and emotionally healthy and strong. The serial killer Ted Bundy was a master at tuning into his victims’ physical and emotional conditions. For example, one of his victims had just broken up with her boyfriend. Another one was preoccupied with exams.

Your passions – how people connect with you

Also think about your passions. Do people use your social, political, recreational or other interests to attempt to manipulate you? Predators sometimes fake shared interests to gain their targets’ trust and make them let down their guard. Obviously, most people enjoy social interaction with others who share their interests. A lot of us do. But be careful when new acquaintances try to use your passion to force trust or to manipulate you into doing things you wouldn’t do otherwise.

Your current focus

Make a habit of asking yourself, where is my focus? For instance, as you are running in the early morning hours with few people on the trails and your thoughts wander to your work or kids, train yourself to return your focus to your surroundings.

Throughout the day, whether we are driving on a freeway, walking down a city sidewalk, or enjoying our morning run, our thoughts digress. For instance, you may be worrying about an exam, a presentation at work, or your sick dog. You may be fatigued or worn out by a nasty cold. You may be upset about an argument with your spouse or a friend. Pre-occupation with thoughts about the past or the future often diverts our attention from our environment. Thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations, for instance pain from a sore throat, can all distract us from sensing and processing signals from the world around us. One way to harness your situational and environmental awareness is to make it a habit to refocus on the present moment.

At a seminar at the annual Martial Arts Industries Association  conference in 2014, a presenter suggested that we should ask ourselves periodically, “Where am I? What am I doing? What should I pay attention to right now?” This is good advice for business; it’s also a good habit for safety. It’s so easy to tune out as we are driving or walking or doing anything else throughout the day. This simple series of questions can bring us back to the here and now. And that is where we need to be so that situational awareness can protect us against ambush as well as accidents.

Awareness of your physical self: gait, posture, and demeanor

Mental and emotional self-awareness is your first step to hardening yourself as a target of opportunistic predatory violence. Another crucial step is physical self-awareness.

Researchers Betty Grayson and Morris Stein conducted a classic study on victim selection with prison inmates convicted of violent crimes like armed robbery, rape, and murder. They showed the inmates videos of pedestrians walking down a busy New York City sidewalk and asked them to identify people they would pick as targets. The criminals’ answers were remarkably uniform even though they couldn’t articulate their criteria. Analysis of the videotapes showed that the inmates’ victim selections were based on perceived vulnerability and lack of environmental awareness rather than other criteria like size or gender.

The preferred victims’ postures, gait, body language, and general demeanor were similar in that they signaled timidity and weakness. For instance, their posture was slumped and their gait lacked “synchrony” or fluidity and wholeness. Shuffling, a short or awkward stride, and a general lack of athleticism and of awareness were seen as signs of vulnerability and weakness. The Stein/Grayson study suggests that people demonstrating environmental and situational awareness and athletic, fluid body movements are less likely to be targeted.

You can project more assertive body language by practicing these postures and movements:

  • Roll your shoulders back and straighten them.
  • Lift your chin.
  • Look around you with a relaxed demeanor, rather than looking down.
  • Walk with a comfortable, fluid stride.
  • Keep your hands out of your pockets and unencumbered.
  • Engage in physical activity that you enjoy and that helps you become comfortable with you body and with movement.

Awareness of your voice and how it’s perceived by others 

Our voices also communicate assertiveness as well as insecurity and vulnerability. You can train yourself to sound more assertive. Start by becoming aware of the tone of your voice, and its rate, pitch, and inflection. Work on developing a calm and confident tone. Talk with a moderate rate, not too fast and not too slowly. Listen to the pitch of your voice. Practice for a moderate pitch, neither too high not too low. When we are suddenly afraid and the autonomous nervous system activates a sympathetic nervous system response, our voice changes and becomes high pitched, raspy, and fast. We can counter this effect by slow breathing: breathing in slowly, holding our breath for a second, breathing out even more slowly, and then repeating the sequence. Slow breathing can calm us physically as well as mentally.

It’s especially important to note the inflections at the end of your sentences. If you raise your voice at the end of a sentence  you’ll sound unsure. For instance, when you tell someone, “I’m not interested” or “Leave me alone” and raise your voice at the end, you may well be perceived as asking a question or making a plea, rather than giving a command. If your inflection stays at the same level, the voice signals a willingness or invitation to continue interaction. You may also be perceived as being unsure of your intent. When you watch national news with experienced broadcasters, listen to their use of inflection. As long as someone’s presentation is continuing, they’ll also continue with the same inflection. At the end of their statement, they will lower their voice. Practice lowering your voice at the end of the sentence when you give a direction, and you’ll instantly sound more assertive.

Good self-awareness is a great way to start hardening yourself as a potential target.

 

 


Strategy or Tapping into Anger?

Instructors in women’s self-defense courses often tell their trainees to tap into their “anger” when they are assaulted. This has always struck me as condescending and sexist as well as counter-productive. In trainings with primarily male participants, I’ve never heard anyone suggest that we rely on rage or any other strong emotion to counter-attack. Instead the emphasis is usually on reacting strategically.

Once a counter-attack is your safest option, a strategic mind-set serves you better than one hi-jacked by anger. Learning to see vulnerable, accessible targets and to use your natural and improvised weapons efficiently and effectively generally protects you better than rage.

Using intuition strategically is different from being fueled by anger when counter-attacking. Being able to access and react to your body sensations and your emotions, like disgust, fear, or unease, is important to increase your safety and to recognize, reduce, and avoid threats. But once you are at a point where you need to fight back, strategy will probably serve you better.

And in most encounters, it can be helpful to strive for “the cold face.” This is what the Mongols called a facial expression of a person who had mastered strategy and showed no emotion when dealing with aggression.

The Mongols